HOW TO GET MARRIED AT 25; The Incomplete guide! Part 2

   Part 2: The Big Decision

There are about four days a girl fantasizes about from the moment she’s born. The day she meets her dream man, the day her dream man proposes, her wedding day….the fourth I can’t remember.

Once while watching a wedding show, I heard a bride say, “You dream about the day he proposes all your life… (You’ve played out the thousand possible ways it could happen and, in your head, it’s perfect every time). And then he pops the question, and it’s like a hot slap right across your face!”

Many of my female friends were really excited when they found out I was getting married. You’d think they were excited for me…. No they were not .Instead they were exhilarated about hearing another ‘’so_how_did_you_propose_to_her’’ story.

There is no foolproof method that has ever been invented for popping the big question.

As I was saying, there is no template method for asking someone to marry you. Just like asking someone out, proposing to someone is pretty much just that. The asking is not the issue. The reasons for asking are what should matter!

Marriage happens to be one of those decisions you make once in your lifetime. And they don’t give you second chances. The only time things change is in the case of death or divorce (but that is a discussion for another day) .

“It must not be undertaken carelessly, lightly or selfishly, but reverently, responsibly and after serious thought.”

How did I propose?

Didn’t think you would want to know.

Well… since your begging…

I got her a pair of shades and slipped the ring on their arms. When she found the ring she did not say “yes”.

She cried, and then said “Yes”.

Whatever your reasons are going to be for deciding to get married(love, money, family, future family name, future children’s looks, green card reasons ),these are few things that will help guide you along that journey;

1.       God

The day you get a whiff of a marriage thought, Pray.

Divine intervention must always be your first intervention.

Everything that happens in my life, God happens to come first.

 I’ll just leave that there.

2.       Someone to keep you accountable

When my wife and I decided to get married, we approached an older couple who were friends of ours. (Hello friends of ours!)

You cannot tow the ship alone. Whether you want to believe it or not, someone has been where you are; and there is a reason why they came out “alive”.

They don’t have to be your relatives, or church elders. What matters is that there is a safe space where you share your lives, and they, theirs.

3.       Research and some form of training

When you want to learn how to play guitar, you read about it, watch YouTube videos, and even subscribe for guitar classes. That’s just the way it goes.

We had to sign up and sit in for three different marriage courses; (though some were extremely boring yet mandatory) in addition to talking to different couples, and looking up wedding concepts on Pinterest ( hehe…)

The decision is yours to make, the information is out there!

4.       Your intended future spouse

Your future fiancé/ fiancée is your only partner in this whole thing. If they decide to marry you, it’s going to be the two of you against the rest of us (the world) and our opinions, attitudes, cynicism!

Personally, I believe if the person you are dating is “your true friend” (and they should be) you will know whether it’s  a YES or NO from a mile away (what do I know though…This is the incomplete guide after all)

It’s one of those things you would sit down and discuss you’d think, right?

Source:Stock photo